No tears

Early this morning, my father passed away. He had many ailments, the most serious being dementia. Dementia took away his will for living, I believe. It comes as a bit of a relief that he is no longer in pain and out of misery. I feel for my mom – they had been together since 1957, married 1959. Three kids (all of us in our 50s), grandchildren and great-grandchildren. My dad had a long life, filled with trips to the States, 100s of rounds of golf, refereeing hockey, and watching the Blue Jays and Leafs.

I am sad. Of course I’m sad. My father died. But at the same time, I feel relief. Relief for my dad’s pain. Relief for my mom’s stress over what to do – should he go to a home, by himself, – so many things she has had occupied her mind these past few months. It’s taken a toll on her I know. I feel relief for my sister – who has been there since I left last August, on a daily basis, bringing them food, taking them to numerous appointments, driving my mom to the hospital every day to see my dad. It’s been a rough few months for my mom and sister.

But there are no tears. My dad made as good a life for us as he was able to. We had happy memories as children. We had a good life thanks to the sacrifices my dad and mom made.

I am thankful for the 56 years I had with him, and am thankful that he passed away peacefully in his sleep. I love you Dad.

8 thoughts on “No tears

  1. Michelle

    I’m so sorry to hear this! But I completely understand what you mean about feeling relief. It’s hard to let them go but when they’ve been sick and suffering for a while it’s a feeling of relief when they go. Prayers for your family!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

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