Category Archives: positive attitudes

Velcro or Teflon?

Do you consider yourself Velcro or Teflon?  Do you let things said to you stick with you or do you let them slide off?

During this difficult time, I think we are all under a lot of stress and how we deal with it is affecting us both physically and mentally.

As many know, I am a positive person and always try to look at the positive in the world.  It’s been very difficult these past couple of months to do that but I really strive to do this every day. 

That being said, I am also not one to talk much about my feelings with anyone. I tend to keep them bottled up and eventually stress gets the best of me and I blurt things out without really thinking about the repercussions of what I’m saying and who I’m saying it to.  I don’t mean to say things that might be hurtful to someone, but there are days when life has taken over and I don’t let things slide off of me, like Teflon.  This happened just recently and I fear that I may have caused a rift between myself and a very dear friend.  It was not intentional but it has happened and while I don’t regret what I said, I wish I had said it in a nicer way.  The Velcro part of my brain got me saying things that my normal Teflon brain wouldn’t have said. 

I blame this on the pandemic because it has been stressful for me, as it has with everyone.  I need to get back to my positive self-talk, which is how I usually am.  I heard Gillian Mandich speaking on a local talk show today, and what she said about the Velcro and Teflon brain resonated with me, and what she said with positive self-talk was what I needed to hear.   

“Positive self-talk is the flip of negative self-talk. It’s not about seeing the world through rose-coloured glasses or looking at circumstances with eyes that see only what you want to see. Rather, positive self-talk is about recognizing the truth, in situations and in yourself. It’s about showing yourself compassion and understanding for who you are and what you’ve been through.”  Gillian Mandich

So just remember, as I am each day, that it’s okay to be stressed at this time, but also remember to think before you speak, because you really don’t know what the other person is going through.   Let’s all be kind to each other and be respectful.  And remember, be safe!

Staying positive in a negative world

I believe myself to be a very positive person. I try not to let people or things bring me down. Of course, there are some days that this is not possible, but for the most part, I tend to stay pretty positive things.

That’s not to say that I don’t have bad days. I’ve had a few of those lately, but when I’m feeling down, I look at the 10 habits of positive people, and re-set my mind.

1. Positive people expect their plans to work out

Sometimes our plans don’t work out like we want them to, but I try to make sure mine do. I usually have a Plan B ready just in case Plan A doesn’t work out, and that’s okay too. Having a back up is never a bad thing!

2. Positive people don’t dwell on failure

I used to dwell on my failures a lot – my parenting skills, my financial situation – but I have learned through reading and counselling that it’s not healthy to dwell on it. Learn from the mistakes and don’t make them again!

3. They are always busy doing something useful

Okay so maybe I don’t do this all the time. Surfing the internet doesn’t seem overly useful but then, it is my way of relaxing so perhaps it’s not that bad after all.

4. They don’t wait for change, they create it

Absolutely this is me! I have never been afraid of change, and actually thrive on it. When creating my changes, it makes me happy and even more positive.

5. Positive people learn to let go

This is the hardest one for me. I have learned to let a lot go, but there are still twangs of guilt that come up every now and then that bring me down, sometimes for days. But eventually I do let it go and I realize that other people’s opinions are just that – their opinions. It should not reflect on me. I am still learning this one.

6. They don’t wait for happiness, they create it

This is the same as change – you just need to do what makes you happy. Happiness won’t come to you, you need to make your happiness.

7. Positive people live in the present moment

Definitely do this all the time!! No sense living in the past, it’s done and can’t be fixed. The future is not here yet. Today is. Live for today.

8. They search for solutions

Again, I try to do this as much as I can. As long as I am trying to find that solution, I will be positive because I’m working on it. I am not sitting back and saying oh well it is what it is.

9. Positive people never consider themselves as victims of circumstances

I used to consider myself a victim. Sometimes the best thing to do is talk to someone – a friend, a therapist – it’s not a bad thing to do. And it will make things clearer for you. Taking charge of your life is the best way to become more positive.

10. Positive people take responsibility for their actions and for their life

Don’t play the blame game. It is your life. Take responsibility. Own it. Make it your life. Not someone else’s. Don’t imitate others, thinking that oh well they are happy so I should do that too. If it’s not something YOU really want, then it won’t ever make you happy.

So these are the things that I do, sometimes not every day. I have had a few days lately that I have not been my positive self, but I woke up this morning and thought – what is wrong with me? NOTHING! Nothing is wrong with me. I am allowed to have a bad day every now and then. It’s part of life. Nothing is perfect, but that doesn’t mean I stop being the positive person I am.

I wish you all a very happy and POSITIVE day!

Social Media maliciousness

Recently a post came up on Facebook that was quite malicious towards my son.  While some of the facts were true, most were not.  However, due to the audacity of people on Facebook, the post spread like wildfire with everyone believing the worst.

 

My son is no angel – I know that.  But there were also people making comments about me and my parenting.  And it has continued on through private messages to my parents – from someone who really has no right to be saying anything about me.  It has totally ruined my day today and I am filled with anger.  So despite the daily pain of my hands from the carpal tunnel – I have decided to speak out on here about social media.

 

Social media can be a great thing – keeping in touch with people while away, blogging about everything that interests us, and sharing recipes.  But social media can be life changing for people when it is used as a weapon.  And that is how I see this now.  It was a weapon against my son, who has now lost his job because the accusations that are spreading about him.  He maintains friendships with people who are his real friends but he has become an outcast in a community that he loved for so long.  Perhaps before chastising someone and spreading information about someone, people should do some research first.  Or speak firsthand to the people on both sides who are involved in a bad situation.

 

I am very good about keeping positive and I firmly believe that something positive will come of all this.  But in the meantime, I will maintain my slight bit of anger at these people and remember that while they may threaten me personally (which they have!) I am the better person and have not retaliated the same way.

Merry Christmas and on to 2019 we go!

I have been very absent lately – carpal tunnel is preventing  me from being on my computer for too long.  Awaiting results in the early new year to find out next steps to be taken.  We may have free health care – but it’s not a quick process for us.

 

Despite the issues of that, and health issues with both parents, 2018 has been a good year for me.  I saw many accomplishments of mine, and of my children, followed through and succeeded.  I have had an article published in a Canadian magazine (Our Canada), did some public speaking, dabbled in art, and in general have had a very positive year.  I am heading to Europe in January for a vacation, and then later in the year Africa is calling my name.  I am excited for what looms in the future for me.

 

I hope to be back blogging soon on a more regular basis.  I want to wish everyone a happy holiday season and a very Happy New Year!   Here’s to the future and to 2019!

 

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Boycotting stores – who does it help?

I have been working at Tim Horton’s, an iconic Canadian coffee shop, for the past three months.  I love it there – the people I work with are so much fun and while there are off days when one or most of us are grumpy, I wake up every day excited to go to work.

 

At the beginning of this year, the province I live in, Ontario, increased the minimum wage from $11.60 an hour to $14 an hour.  Because of that, some of the franchise owners have made some newsworthy decisions, such as taking away the paid breaks that were provided before and no longer paying for benefits.  To make this clear, the franchise owners I was hired by DID NOT DO THIS!!  However, we are seeing the brunt of these other franchise owners.  People have been talking about (and actually doing this) boycotting Tim Horton’s in general.  We have many people in the store and going through the drive-thru telling us that they will no longer be coming here in protest of what the owners are doing.  I patiently explain that the store I work in is NOT affected by this.   Some people still insist in not coming anymore (yet they are in the drive-thru or in the store, buying a coffee… go figure.

 

I have explained my thoughts on this to many people – boycotting stores are NOT going to help the employees.  By boycotting any business because of unfair treatment of their staff, you are hurting the very people who you claim you are helping.  By boycotting Tim Horton’s, since this is the store I am talking about, sales will go down.  When sales go down, fewer employees are needed to work because of the lack of business.   So less employees means more savings for the company and the employees have LESS WAGES to live on.

 

I know not everyone agrees with my thinking, however, it makes sense.  Fewer customers, less sales, fewer people needed to work.  It is that simple.  So rather than boycotting the company you are angry at, write letters to the head office.  Complain to the head office.  It is NOT the employees who need to be hearing this – we cannot do anything about what the head office or franchise owners are doing.

 

And if you are inclined to continue patronizing Tim Horton’s (and I thank all those who are!), be understanding to the staff.  We are occasionally understaffed and we try our best to give you the fastest service possible.

 

I always treat the customers with a smile and a thank you – I would like to be treated the same way back.  I think that is just general common courtesy –  and how all people should treat each other!

Walking the beat of my own drum

I walk to the beat of my own drum.  I have been doing this for a few years, but I will admit, there have been many times that I have followed the crowd.

 

Following the crowd during school seems to be something most of us do.  But who are we following anyway?  The popular kids?  The sports kids?  Have you ever thought about that?

 

Was there someone in your life that you wanted to be like?  That you wanted to be?  I know for me that there were a few people I wanted to be like. Especially in high school.  I wanted to be confident and outgoing, like so many of my friends were.  But I was shy and just hung back, trying to gain the courage to speak up.  Things changed in college and later on in my life, after my divorce.  But if there was anything that I could have changed, it would be to be more confident in myself.  To be stronger and self-assured.

 

Do I regret the way things worked out in my life?  No.  I believe that everything that has happened in my life has happened when it needed to and when the time was right.

 

Do I follow the beat of my own drum now?  Absolutely!!  Would I follow the crowd now?  Unless that crowd was heading to South Africa or Australia or somewhere really cool – then maybe in that case.  But no – I would not follow the crowd now.

 

Follow the crowd or walk to the beat of your own drum.  You choose.  What will you do?

Keeping a positive attitude

I was not always a positive person – I was depressed, full of worry over money, my kids  and just life in general.  I hated feeling that way, and was at a loss of what to do.  My kids fed off of my attitude and became the same way.  It took me moving away from Ontario to become the positive person I am now.  Between moving to Calgary and then moving to Prague, I realized that the environment I exposed myself to back then definitely affected my attitude.

 

Now that I have returned to live in Ontario after being away since 2011, I have become very aware of the negativity in my life.  I remain a positive person, but the people I am exposed to are incredibly negative people.

 

There comes a time in every woman’s life that the change happens – yes menopause.  I am going through it right now and hot flashes are NOT fun.  I don’t seem to be experiencing mood swings but there are people at work going through this right now.  In particular, one woman.  She is the most negative, miserable person I have ever met in my life who has the biggest mood swings I have ever seen.  And her mood has almost made me succumb back to my negative thinking.  One day last week, she had me in such a state, I was glad to have my break.  During my break, I sat down, closed my eyes and meditated.  I realized that it was not me in particular that she is angry at (well maybe it’s me a bit but I don’t know why and that’s not my problem).  After deep breathing and then listening to some music, I came back, put a smile on my face and have not let her bother me since.

 

I refuse to let anyone ever again affect me and my positive attitude.  The customers enjoy talking to me, my other fellow employees and I  have a lot of fun working together and I love this job.  It is not teaching – one day it will be my career again but right now is not that time.

 

I know I do not need to move away to find peace in my mind and enjoy my time back in my hometown.  As I have discovered, there is so much to do in  life and so much to see and enjoy, and I won’t let little things bring me down like I did years ago.