Category Archives: self image

Velcro or Teflon?

Do you consider yourself Velcro or Teflon?  Do you let things said to you stick with you or do you let them slide off?

During this difficult time, I think we are all under a lot of stress and how we deal with it is affecting us both physically and mentally.

As many know, I am a positive person and always try to look at the positive in the world.  It’s been very difficult these past couple of months to do that but I really strive to do this every day. 

That being said, I am also not one to talk much about my feelings with anyone. I tend to keep them bottled up and eventually stress gets the best of me and I blurt things out without really thinking about the repercussions of what I’m saying and who I’m saying it to.  I don’t mean to say things that might be hurtful to someone, but there are days when life has taken over and I don’t let things slide off of me, like Teflon.  This happened just recently and I fear that I may have caused a rift between myself and a very dear friend.  It was not intentional but it has happened and while I don’t regret what I said, I wish I had said it in a nicer way.  The Velcro part of my brain got me saying things that my normal Teflon brain wouldn’t have said. 

I blame this on the pandemic because it has been stressful for me, as it has with everyone.  I need to get back to my positive self-talk, which is how I usually am.  I heard Gillian Mandich speaking on a local talk show today, and what she said about the Velcro and Teflon brain resonated with me, and what she said with positive self-talk was what I needed to hear.   

“Positive self-talk is the flip of negative self-talk. It’s not about seeing the world through rose-coloured glasses or looking at circumstances with eyes that see only what you want to see. Rather, positive self-talk is about recognizing the truth, in situations and in yourself. It’s about showing yourself compassion and understanding for who you are and what you’ve been through.”  Gillian Mandich

So just remember, as I am each day, that it’s okay to be stressed at this time, but also remember to think before you speak, because you really don’t know what the other person is going through.   Let’s all be kind to each other and be respectful.  And remember, be safe!


Age is just a number

Today I went to a birthday party for an old neighbour – she turns 90 years old in a few days and her kids and grandchildren had a surprise party for her. It was a very lovely afternoon and I saw such a lovely combination of people there to celebrate this lovely lady’s big milestone of turning 90 years old.

It seems like such a big number – 90 years old. But when I saw this lady walking in, using a walker and then abandoning it to use her cane to go and visit her friends who had come to celebrate, I was amazed at how much vim and vigor she had in her steps and seemed excited to see all her friends and family come to share this special time.

In the back of my mind, I kept picturing myself at her age. Will I have that same lively step? Will I have that many friends to come out and celebrate with me? Will I even make it to 90? And yes, of course, that is a real possibility and I am aware of that. And that’s okay.

I will be turning 55 in 2020. I never think about my age, but as I approach the “senior” ages – which includes the bonus of senior discounts! – I am becoming more aware of my age. I have decided that there is so much to do still in my life that I am going to ignore the numbers, make sure I’m in good shape and make the most out of this life. And I have every intention of being somewhere exciting for my 55th!

Age really is just a number, and if you don’t dwell on it too much, you can do anything you want no matter your age. Traveling and working while I travel is on my mind. Sitting on a beach somewhere warm in the winter months, with a laptop with me, is definitely on my mind. I can work and travel. Lots of people do that and I am ready to do this!

Does age bother you? Or is it just a number? Have you accomplished what you wanted to for the age you are at?

Being a quinquagenarian

Awwww being a quinquagenarian is exciting.  First of all, finding out that a person my age is called a quinquagenarian is exciting!  For those who don’t know (and probably don’t care), it’s someone who is between the ages of 50 and 59.  You learn something new every day right? 

There are many reasons to be excited for this decade.  You get to experience menopause – you know, the hot flashes, mood swings and all the other fun things that happen to a woman of this age.  Hair on my chin?  Yup, and learning to have tweezers close by for that one just popped out of nowhere on your upper lip.  So much fun.

You also get to experience the thrill of unexpected releases of bodily fumes whilst walking, running, exercising and even when you stand up.  Yeah, farting for no reason – another great thing about being this age.

There are some other fun things about this age.  Waking up and hearing everything creak and crack (and yes that includes more bodily fumes being released).   Having to wear glasses to read anything and watch TV, and even at work now.  Oh joy. 

You’re probably thinking – there has to be SOMETHING that is enjoyable about being this age.  Of course there is! 

At the age of 55 (the age I am slowing creeping up to in less than a year), you get some select senior discounts at different stores and restaurants.  And yes this actually is a good thing, and one that I am looking forward to!!

You also get the satisfaction of saying no to people without having to give a reason for saying no, and feeling empowered at doing this.

As a woman, I love when people ask my age and are always so sweet and kind and lie to me when they say “wow you don’t look that old – I thought you were in your 30’s”.  Thank you sweet old ladies who tell me that to make me feel good.  It really does make me feel good, as I stand behind the counter at Tim Horton’s wearing the god-awful hat and hairnet and knowing that there is no way on earth I look like I am in my 30’s.  I do appreciate the compliments!

I also love that I can state my opinion on things that matter to me, and know that I can stand my ground and state that it is MY opinion and that we are all entitled to our opinion.  It’s neither right nor wrong –it’s just my opinion.  Some people just don’t get that, and that’s not really an age thing.

Today I am relishing the fact that I am a proud quinquagenarian, and if I want to fart while I work out, I can.  If my body creaks and cracks as I get out of bed, that’s fine.  It just means that everything is working itself out and getting me ready to start my day.  Like a car, it needs to warm up and the creaks and cracks help me out with that.

So be proud – creak, crack, fart and do anything else you want to as a quinquagenarian – we have all earned that right!

Empowerment and self image

Do you have a positive image of yourself?  Are you happy with your body?  Are there things you want to change about your physical image to make you feel happy? 

Many questions – but they are ones I have been thinking about a lot in the past few months.  So much so that I have decided to join Weight Watchers (or WW as they are now called!), and I also am now going to the Y on a regular basis (just about every day).  Yet, I continue to self-sabotage by eating whatever I want at night – regardless of the amount of sugar is involved. 

Do I have a positive image of myself?  Yes.  I am a strong, independent woman who may be overweight but still confident about how I look.

Am I happy with my body?  Not really but that’s why I joined WW and the Y.  I am trying very hard to get my body into shape once again and feel healthy.  I have an insatiable sweet tooth and it drives me crazy but I really don’t know how to solve that (drinking water when I am hungry does NOT help, and neither do carrots!).  So, I self-sabotage with cookies (at least they are sugar free but they are still cookies!).  One day I hope to develop the self control I really want.  For now I will continue to eat, exercise and count those points with WW!

Are there things I want to change about my physical image to make me feel happy?  Yes.  I want to get back to a size 12, where I felt the best.  I want to be able to buy clothes in the departments that are not “plus size”.  I want to be able to wear a cute summer dress without worrying about my flabby arms and tummy showing. 

Self-image is such an important part of our lives, especially from the early teens.  I always considered myself as the heavy one among my friends in high school.  They could all wear cute clothes, and jeans that fit nicely.  I was always the heavy one (at least that’s how I perceived myself).  And this was in the early 80’s – long before social media and the constant stream of these images the young girls have to look at now.

I feel bad for the young girls (and boys) coming into high school, and having to deal with bullying because of an image they portray, which definitely is more prominent in this day and age.  I would love to be able to go to my old high school, and sit down with a group of young ladies in Grade 9 and explain to them that they ARE beautiful just the way they are.  Being a woman is a beautiful thing, and we all struggled in our teens with some demon in our mind telling us we weren’t good enough in some way.  I want young girls to know that this does NOT have to affect them as they grow older.  That they can take control of their lives and learn to ignore the bullying and negativity, and feel beautiful just the way they are.  No matter their size or whatever else it is that brings their self-image down. 

Empowering young women is something that I strive to do!  I want to let young women know all over the world that every single one of them is beautiful in their own way, and that they are all strong and can do whatever it is they strive to do, no matter what anyone tells them.

So yes – we may all have our doubts about ourselves now and then.  That is a normal thing!  It’s not anything unusual and we can overcome these feelings.  Just remember – we are all beautiful!